Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Dwell in Possibility

With age comes clarity and wisdom about what you are here to do.  Your energy moves in a vertical pattern, propelling up and down - dancing between roots and the vast beyond of the thousand petal lotus.   Choices are made with a history of mistakes and missed cues, but choices are still made with aspirations and dreams. 

You choose much quicker than you used to.  All the years of agonizing over a shift- now you know very quickly what you have to do.  You know right action.

Even difficult decisions aren’t that hard anymore, because you’ve been there before- you know the scene.  You know that you cannot change what is, you can only choose to feel differently.  Difficulties become your power.

Non reaction to the reality that is- facile adaptation to the reality that is.  No longer getting waylaid for long periods while you try to fix things, try to make things right.  You choose to put yourself on the path of the heart, the path of right thought and right action.

Being older means you slow down, you know how to put the speed down on your race car.  Taking time to breathe in and out, to smile, to sit, to Be.  Time to invest in dreaming and dwelling in possibility.

I dwell in Possibility –
A fairer House than Prose –
More numerous of Windows –
Superior – for Doors –

Of Chambers as the Cedars –
Impregnable of eye –
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky –

Of Visitors – the fairest –
For Occupation – This –
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise –

                                    Emily Dickinson

Lead self away from repeated patterns and into a design of life in full bloom.  Lead self back to what is truly important: your light in the current perfect moment.

Dwell in possibility- leave stagnation and endless spinning behind.  Gather Paradise and dance alongside it with all your might.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Stopping Points on the Path

Today after Spin class I was chatting with a woman from my town about our work life- we are about the same age.  I remembered a moment where I made a choice 7 years ago that made our work lives, that were pretty close together, diverge.

That moment I made the decision to follow a certain path is crystal clear in my memory even after all of this time.  It is one of those watershed moments where you just know, you tingle inside because you are fully aware that it is A MOMENT.  You are clear that it is the next catapult forward in life and in time.

How did I feel standing in the Spin room dripping with sweat having this flashback?  My first feeling was sadness- sadness over time lost, and sadness in the reality that time had marched on and didn't wait for me to catch up.  Then immediately I felt anger- anger at ME.  I started berating myself for making a wrong choice.

You should have done xyz, you didn't pay attention, you picked the path of least resistance! whack, whack whack!  The gloves were off, the battle was being waged full force in my head.  Amazing how quickly that cudgel came flying out!

But then, I paused my thoughts.
Here I was looking at that moment, that choice from a new vantage point.

It didn't take long for me to realize how different I was.  How far I'd come, how good I felt about what I had accomplished and where I was in this moment.

I felt powerfully aware.

For the last year I've been full time invested in entrepreneurship- building my business, my brand, building me.  It is the most unglamorous, brain splitting, all consuming journey I have ever taken.  My Self Confidence has had to step up and wear big girl pants so many times I've lost count, and I've learned the art of asking- asking for help/guidance/strength from fellow women, men and the universe.

Within the last three weeks, I've had another "moment" occur- one that would put me on a path for the next 8- 10 years.  Just as before, the moment appeared.  And just as before, I knew it- it was a familiar occurrence, me and MOMENTS go way back.

This moment and the choice that partners with it feels hefty, feels like it has substance, gravitas.  I am clear as the blue sky about what this moment/choice means and how it fits into this next chapter of my evolution.  All those years ago, I was still young and hadn't built up who I am enough yet.  All those years ago, I had to embark on one more Hero's Journey before I could finally get back to Ithaca (thank you Odysseus!).

Back to the Spin room, which was now empty, I was so grateful for seeing this woman again and having a moment to chat with her.  (She will LOVE this when she reads it)  Our individual  Hero's Journey must continue in all it's shapes and twists and nuance.  The Hero's Journey is life.

I'm alive, you are alive- keep going Odysseus.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

4 steps to pump up your stamina!


Leading up to age 50 this June- I'm experiencing what stamina really means.

In my twenties, I worried about the future: would I find a husband?  Would I own a house?  Would I have a perfect figure?  Would I have children?  Would I have a job that I loved?

At that age, stamina is no problem.  Three jobs, still made it to the gym.  Gigs all weekend until 3am, still had time for a date. Hungover, still able to work a double the next day.

I had stamina in spades, I didn't have to think about it.

Enter Age 49.  I worry about the future:  will my husband and I stay healthy?  Will I be able to hang on to my house?  Will I get rid of the inner tube around my belly?  Did I make a mistake choosing to not have children?  Will I be able to sustain myself in retirement?

Stamina is now a conscious effort.  I have to make it to the gym because my hormones need it.  After 19 years together, a date night with hubs is necessary fun.  I schedule in friend time, because I work all the time.

The older you get, you have to work at stamina- it doesn't bubble up naturally anymore.  In part it's because the machine (your body) is older and needs attentiveness to keep it purring along.  The other part is mental.  Reality is, you have less life force time in front of you so you'd better not waste a second.  Remember that "clock ticking" from your twenties when you anguished about having a child?

Well- the clock is still ticking, only now it isn't the maternity clock...it's the eternity clock.

My dad, who is 76 and a poster child for stamina, ends his motivational emails to me with "keep going".  Living fully requires sustained engagement through thick and thin.  Living fully requires stamina.

Here are four steps to pump up your stamina:
Mindful eating: choose foods that encourage energy, clarity and strength
Challenge yourself at the gym: book a private training session
Study history: pick a woman in a leadership position, how did she achieve her full potential?
Meditate- practice mindfulness for three minutes everyday

Is there a person in your life who models stamina?  I would love to hear about them!  Email me at nanetteperrotte@gmail.com

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

3 easy steps to connect to You!

That moment we remember "I"

That moment we remember that we exist for more than making other people happy.

Have you spent too much time running after glimmering vaporous dreams or sleepwalking through relationships/jobs?  Have you spent an entire day at work/home pleasing, making things that are in disarray work?  Have you sacrificed an hour at the gym this week- every week- for kids, partner, friends?

Welcome to being a woman.

Female energy: pleasing, discussing, working things out.  We are the weavers, the goddesses, the nurturers.

At a certain point all of that has to stop.  It has to stop so you can take care of the "I".  At a certain point You have to be present to the "I".

By being present, we roll out a giant external eyeball and look at exactly what we are doing in this tapestry of living.  What are my actions?  What are my thoughts?  What do I need?

When in the presence of "I", we notice and become interested.  We become interested in our feelings, we become interested in someone other than the others.  Then, we question who we are in this moment of reality.  Who am I now?  I'm someone different than who I was in my teens or twenties.  How wonderful!  How frightening.

How do I get to know this new self?  How do I step into my new reality of womanhood?

Here are three very simple things to do, you don't have to do them all at once:
1.  Sit still.  Close your eyes.  Count to 20 and back, for seven minutes.  Set your phone alarm.
2.  Soak your feet.  In a tub of warm water and marbles or river stones.  For seven minutes.  Set your phone alarm.
3.  Drink a glass of water.  Add a slice of lemon.  Drink slowly, feel the liquid travel down your throat making your skin dewey with moisture.

Then, ask yourself three questions:
How do I feel?
What do I feel?
What do I need?

Keep a journal of these observations- buy yourself a nice one- observe as the "I" emerges and changes.  Another good reminder of this opportunity for connection to "I" comes to us physically every month, maybe that is your reminder to do one of the three simple steps above.

What do you do to connect to "I"?  I would love to know, email me at nanetteperrotte@gmail.com.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Power of reality

My mom said: Spend your twenties getting ready for your fifties.

Even with that advance notice, I don't think anything prepares women for what happens to your body at midlife.  The inner tube around the waist-  it snuck up on me starting around 42.  Little by little pants and skirts wouldn't close, there was this weird bowling ball around my belly.


I haven't had kids.  I've always worked out.  I do yoga.  I live in a 1792 Hip Roof Colonial in the middle of 2000 acres of conservation land in New Hampshire where everything is "uphill".

Why this inner tube?

Then, my period changed.  What was a skip thru the monthly park of lunar flow became this epic roaring of a red river that sent me running to the bathroom every 45 minutes.  Before the flood gates, there were migraines and cramps that only popping 5 Ibuprofen would mollify.  Then in a dramatic cadence, pins and needles that electrocuted my fingers to the bone.

Why this middle aged torture?

I went to my MD.  Back on the birth control pill!  she said.  I tried.  I felt absolutely awful.  And nothing changed.  And those pills made my brain buzz.

This was seven years ago.  Today, I have figured out what works for me. I'm feeling and looking better than I have in my entire life.   To get here, I had to study, read, go to seminars with women like Susun Weed.  I had to find other crones like Susun who walked thru woods picking leaves, roots, flowers making me these tinctures that didn't taste so good.  But they worked.

Loving your inner crone or stepping beyond your late twenties is indeed a task.  There are many ways to achieve balance and clarity in health.  I say this and emphasize that I know the value of allopathic care.  I also know that a woman's health is part of a matrix, a web.  Don't get caught thrashing around in the web- be aware of it's approach.  Become one with the power of weaving your reality as it is in this moment.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Do the least to the best

In my childhood home on Tamarind Circle in Orlando- food and music were King.  My dad Louis is a French Chef from Bretagne and my mother Magdalena is a fantastic cook making dishes from her birth country, Ecuador.  I "helped" my French grandmother Marguerite make tarte aux fraises and brioche for her shop, and as a teen I waited on tables at my parents restaurant Le Coq au Vin in Orlando.  Now living in New Hampshire, I create combinations of food that are from our surrounding farms and seasonally appropriate for private clients and my family.

Jazz great Duke Ellington and I have something besides music in common.  Our dads came home from work with filet mignon, lobster, truffles, creme brulee, Mousse au chocolat- the best.

In my parents living room, my various bands jammed.  The PA system came from a wine salesman- our first drummer Frank used giant pickle buckets as a drumset.  My brother Jean-Paul played guitar and I sang lead vocals.  Our tunes were Hendrix, Led Zepplin, Heart, Pat Benatar, Queen, The Police- the best.

This very creative life in food and music has given me a certain sensibility: Do the least to the best.

So with food: when I go to the grocery store, I look, smell and feel.  When I plan my grocery list, what's in the farms that surround my country home?  When I plate food- what is the portion size?

I don't go to one grocery store- I visit different stores and farm shops.

I buy what's freshest and I buy for that day's meal.

With music: I pick a type/genre of music, then I Google who the players are on the tune.  When I listen, I notice the melody (singers tend to do that). Then I listen to the arrangement- how is the melody supported/enhanced with the instrumentation?  What is the production like?

I buy a whole album- I love the idea of a whole trip of sound around an idea.

I don't play music in my yoga classes- we should be listening to ourselves.

Here comes the philosophy:
Our health is directly connected to the practice of pausing and paying attention.  One of the reasons we pause and pay attention is to fine tune our senses.  Existing to our fullest potential from moment to moment has to do with quality of attention.  Going forward let's be one of those kids in school who was told: Stop running around!  Pay Attention!

In this blog post, we're talking about quality of taste and listening: doing the least to the best.  If you choose the best, then the best will ensue.  Pay Attention!  Pause- look, smell, feel, listen.  Wake up to where you are.  Mindfully connect to a perfect vibration of balanced and luminouse health.